As a woman, using Tinder is like walking into a room of hot, shirtless men who haven’t had sex in a year and are all dying to be with me:
Today, more than ever, women have their pick of guys on Tinder. And that means you have to stand out if you want more dates on Tinder.
Trust me, I know – this is harder than it seems. After all, there seems to be zero logic explaining why women respond to certain messages and not others.
The 3 Motivating Forces Driving Her to Respond
What are the best Tinder openers? Before I show you the 3 Tinder openers she has to respond to, it’s important to understand why she responds to certain things and not others.
And that all comes down to her motivating forces – the deep, underlying emotions that drive her to think, “Message him back NOW!”
This one is the most obvious. If a woman desires you, she’s going to be motivated to reach out to you.
But if she’s truly attracted to you, then you’ve got it easy – it doesn’t really matter what you say because she already wants you. And in fact, she might even message you first!
And if you send her a message that makes her want to know more, then of course she’s going to message you to find out!
3) Surprise (But NOT Outrage)
If you surprise her, you risk pissing her off. Piss off your Tinder match, and you can kiss any chance she’ll sleep with you goodbye.
But if you can make her feel good about your surprise, then your chances of getting a response (and an eventual date) skyrocket.
The 3 Tinder Openers She HAS to Respond To…
Earlier, I mentioned that if she’s motivated by attraction or desire, she’ll probably message YOU. So if you want to initiate the interaction, it’s best to send her a message that sparks her curiosity or surprises her. Taking that in mind you are going to create the best Tinder openers which are not only effective, but also match your style.
If you are a decent guy genuinely intesreted in her, refer to her BIO, or ask about something you are honestly intesreted in… If nothing comes to your mind, play it cheeky and playful.
- “Why is he asking me about peanut butter?…”
- “I want him to know that I’m a creamy girl all the way!”
You’re also leaving the focus off of her – and that’s going to make her wonder what exactly you’ll say when she gives you her answer.
When you ask for a woman’s opinion, you’re telling her that her thoughts matter more to free Farmers dating you than your need to tell her how “hot” she is. And that’s a sign that you’re someone she might want to date!
It doesn’t matter what her response is – what matters is that she responds. And from there, you can start a real conversation.
A lot of guys think there’s a certain “line” they have to use to start a conversation with a woman…
But the truth is that sometimes, words are overrated. Tinder has a set of gifs you can use to message women – instead of saying something with words, you can say even more with an unexpected image.
Sending her a gif leaves a lot of room for her interpretation, so not only will you set yourself apart from the “Hey” and “What’s up?” guys…
Use an “opposite” approach. This is a little more subtle, but if you can do it right it works on just about any type of TInder girl.
Don’t let her have this assumption! Trust me, when a guy I KNOW should be interested in me hides it just a little…
“You’re cute, but your taste in beer is questionable – Blue Moon? Really?” (if one of her pictures is of her drinking a beer like a Blue Moon)
Whether you’re playful or are just going for shock value, it’s important to include some element of a “joke” – daddy issues are funny because they’re stereotypical, the second line playfully lets her know you think she’s cute, and the last one is funny because it’s so insanely immature.
The Final Frontier: How to Turn Your Matches Into Dates FAST
If she responds to your first message, you’re halfway there. The next step is to get her from online to offline.
If you use a curiosity line, for example, you could turn her response into an invitation. So if she says she likes creamy peanut butter, you could say,
Or let’s say you ask her about her daddy issues. She might respond, “Not since I killed him 3 years ago” (to continue the joke). If that’s the case, you want to continue the joke without getting too “caught up” in it.
As a general rule, you shouldn’t send more than 5 or 6 messages without getting her number or asking her out.
Remember, this is a dating app! Every woman on there ultimately wants to go on a date. You just have to make her want to go on a date with you.